Regardless of the nature of a personal relationship, be it parent/child, husband/wife, close friends, etc, acceptance plays a critical role in determining whether 2 people feel safe with each other. In other words, in order for you to have a meaningful relationship with someone, you need to learn to accept them in ways that may not always come naturally.
In my work with families, I see many people get confused between acceptance and agreement. Acceptance in the context of a relationship is how you feel about the PERSON whereas agreement is how you feel about the TOPIC at hand. Like on my recent blog entry on “Chill Out, Parents”, parents don’t necessarily need to agree with their children’s view on drugs or other social issues, but they need to accept them for who they are as people. When people feel they are accepted, it’s much easier for them to drop their defenses and their willingness to keep their minds open to new information and ideas would be much higher.
Acceptance brings people closer emotionally whereas agreement does so intellectually. Agreement requires no effort; you either agree or disagree with an idea, at least at the onset. On the other hand, acceptance can be worked on and doing so will strengthen the relationship and can possibly move you closer to an eventual agreement. When in doubt, learn to accept.